Covey-ing the Message

A passage I've come over a couple of times already. Not the first time. Yet, suddenly got reminded about this in an email (Thanks :) ). A bit long I know, but worthwhile. Just a little something I'd wish to share with all you delightful readers out there. =D

Discover the 90/10 Principle.

It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).

What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.

We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.

We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.

How? ……….By your reaction.

You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.

What happens next will be determined by how you react.

You curse.

You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

• A) Did the coffee cause it?
• B) Did your daughter cause it?
• C) Did the policeman cause it?
• D) Did you cause it?

The answer is “D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why?

Because of how YOU REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!

React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?

WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job.

Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.

Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.

The result?

Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It CAN change your life!!!

Many thanks to Stephen R. Covey for this article! Something to remind us all about how we should deal with problems and not overreact. Some things you might argue cannot be helped. But if a little bit of damage control can turn things around, it goes a long way. A thought I would like to share :)

Sometimes, we see things in a very simple way. Our very actions and activities day by day prove to be nothing but a routine to us, seemingly harmless in every way. A friend once told me that there is nothing to be afraid of, it's only the fear inside your heart.

That is in many ways, true. Yet, sometimes, you can't help but feel it.

I, myself, have a great flaw - paranoia. During situations where I feel I have no control of, freaking out is the first thing on my mind's to-do list for some reason. I certainly wished that I didn't have it, for if I didn't, I would have been a more successful person in life. At least, that's what I thought.

Come to think of it, though, I may have been a completely different person.

Well, that aside, sometimes, things can not be within your grasps any time. Try as you like to gain control over it, but it won't work.

Take life as an example. Everyone lives their own free lives, aiming to be the best that they will ever be.... constantly going higher and higher till you reach the top.

However, in this Rat Race, there is bound to be an "Mousetrap accident".

External forces would play their little game of disruption, constantly providing obstacles and danger in our way. Just as you'd play Monopoly. If you took a thousand turns, there is bound to be once where you'd lose cash... or even head to jail. Life is unfair as I've learned. People don't wish for calamities. You see rain dances, but not earthquake dances, right? Yet, they come inevitably and are unavoidable.

Such, as the news recently suggested. Although I might not know this person, the impact was still felt. The fact that the external force seemed to be of low danger to many just shows how little things deserved to be watched out for. No wonder the elders always tell us to be careful. Even in examinations, we are taught the concept of being cautious. This just highlights it all.

Though, cautious itself, sometimes, just isn't enough. "It's not like I've seen death on the news for the first time" as another friend blogged. But this one, considerably closer than most of them, just gives you a wake up call on how bloody precious life can be and how ridiculously cruel it can also be. It was........... out of our control.

For some reason, it just felt emotional. Just goes to show how much we should appreciate life and not whine about the little things we face everyday. We should live it to the maximum while we can.

want to be someone extraordinary in near future..

A big dream of the late James that could not be fulfilled. A reminder to us all who want to achieve greatness. Life, as it is, is not eternal and perfect. Fate, as it is, is hard to be changed. Instead of trying to change fate, work on what we have and do as much as we can. Live life well!

To the three, may you rest in peace.

For The Love Of Art

Ah! The WileyPlus assignment is out! *runs to do*

Well, I guess when you go into uni, you get lots of cool things. Not just the technology and systems. But also, how the assignments are done. I have just completed my WileyPlus assignment :), something we have to do every 3 weeks or so. Got something new that I'd wish to share :P *not sure if I'm allowed to tho, but here goes*

Behold, THE ULTIMATE ORGANIC CHEMISTRY DRAWING JAVA PROGRAMME!

Drawing my dipeptides

My final answer.

So that's what you call a MarvinSketch. Honestly, it's one of the most troublesome programmes. Pulling elements and bonds here and there! Can't I just use an interactive pencil and draw some cool structure like this?

On second thought, maybe not. Haha. Life rocks when you go to uni :P

Un-surprised

Gonna be a little emo. Well, what can I say? It's not like I never saw it. I was never surprised. Yes, excuses may come all they want. But still, sometimes, you feel like you're like a louse, being such an annoyance that you don't even know it. Yet, sometimes you know you did nothing wrong.

The world is constantly changing. For one moment, you thought you belonged. Yet at one moment, everything goes behind you.

What can I do? I knew it from the start. Surprise? Nah. I guess I was trying too hard. Maybe it's time for something fresh and leave everything behind. At least I can say that I did my best. For all that I know, a small notice would not be even sensed.

Maybe it's not what you did wrong. Maybe sometimes, it's some people's problem. They just don't value you enough. Even after all you tried and constantly seeking ways to improve, it just wouldn't work for you. Why is it like that? How I wish life was ever fair to us all.... Then, I would not suffer from this predicament. This just s*cks.

Remembering what a friend said last time, I guess it was true. Would it make that much of a difference? Trying to defy it, every attempt was thrown to fight it. I guess like another friend said, desperation leads you nowhere. True enough.

Just want to feel known. So much for the past....

Blah

Blah, exam approaching... in a month :(. Sigh. Oh well, time to hit the books. And just got back Psych report.... AHHHH!!! And I thought I did it perfectly :(

Well, to clear that crappy mind, some random discovery courtesy of TS and I.... @@. *from Nokia 6120 :P*

Notice the chicken wing having "spikes" @@..... *thankgodtakmakan*

Message : *IwonderhowIthoughtofthisfromthepic* Nothing is Perfect! Even after you tried....... cooking/assignment-ing to the max! XD

The Miracle

Finally, a breather. What I'm supposed to do is done. Now, on towards the light! Soon, it'll all change and a new beginning will arise. But anyhow, it has been one heck of a road.

Whether I get what I want or not is another matter. Even if I ever wanted it so dearly, all I can hope for now is a miracle in life. Something, that I admit I have not seen for a while. Then again, I might see many miracles happening around me already, not knowing it... or perhaps, neglecting it.

I have always wondered why my life is this way. To be honest, even if I can say others are pessimistic, it still does not take away the fact that I have a doubtful, somewhat pessimistic thinking as well. Even what I say on this little spot contradicts what I have previously thought. I guess, this is the art of learning. Perhaps, after all those negative thoughts, you finally realise that what you keep thinking of is futile. It is practically useless to keep thinking that life is going against you.

True, you can't deny the fact that life sometimes feels like waves of tsunami smacking your very soul. I certainly felt that way some time last year. It feels really bad, I admit. For someone who has faced very little difficulties, sometimes, the smallest of obstacles can prove to be a great one to jump over. Not obstacles like Chemistry that some face, but obstacles like attachments and life in general. Rejection is simply something you may not fancy in that particular time. But hey, immaturity got the best of me I'm afraid.

Life is like a living hell? Yeah, this is probably on everyone's mind at times. You probably find life to have no meaning. The more you think of it, the more disappointed and saddened you become of how your life is. You look at the people around you and wonder why you can not be like them or have what they have. You see people having what you can't have, and keep dreaming on, only to let the dream disappoint you time and time again. It is then that you feel depressed. Doesn't everyone go through this?

But if you think of it again, if everyone goes through this, wouldn't it make sense that we are all envying one another. When this happens, wouldn't it just indicate that we are just fools who only know how to appreciate what we don't have. Why don't we just appreciate what we have and make the most out of it? Easier said than done, especially even when you don't want to think that way, you just can't help it.

How we wished life was just filled with miracles. Everyday, why won't there be a world where everyone suddenly become billionaires. Why won't there be a world without broken hearts? Why won't everyone get what they want! But if you look at it, THE WORLD IS THAT WAY. If you take a look at relationship, if A and B likes C, there is bound to be a problem. If both of them gets what they want, would you mind if we cut C in half? Either way, there is bound to be a broken heart.

In fact, miracles do happen everyday. Everyday in life, you see couples come together, cancer survivors, near escapes etc. Doesn't it strike you that you see a miracle every time you watch the news? If you learn how to appreciate what happens in your life, you would also realise that miracles happen everyday in your own life! It's just that we are too ignorant or fortunate to realise the very fortunes we have.

Perhaps something would show how life is to be appreciated. How miracles can happen anywhere when destined to. Today, a mother let go of her pram with her baby in order to pull up her pants. In the process, the pram starts to move right down into the railway track right in front of the mother. The mother watched as the baby and the pram fall onto the railway track as a train steamrolls past the station. The mother lunged at her infant, desperate to save the precious baby......... It was not enough...... Thankfully, the emergency brakes were used. However, the train already ran over the tram with the baby.......................... Sad now? Here'some prove for you. Observe the pram and the train passing by.

BUT WAIT! THE BABY WAS SAFE! How?! I don't think Mr. Universe can survive a train running over him. How can a baby survive? In fact, the baby only sustained a small bump on his head? How can the softest and weakest of skin muscles survive such a large force? I got one word for ya - MIRACLE!

Besides, if you think of it, how we ever came to exist is a miracle itself.... Hence, don't feel so bad about life, the thought might just be the very object that eats it up instead. Be strong, be positive!

Where U At

My message to MBBS degree (LOL, I'm not joking)

Well, check out the translations if you don't believe me ;). Anyhow, I bet Sau Fei would love this song too haha. Thought I'd put a song for all of you who are disturbed/depressed/busy/exam-ing/studying/emoing people these days. Time to take a breather from all that crap. Listen to a nice song after a crappy day like how I told my interviewer I'd do it. Life is not meant to be dull, but enjoyed to its fullest. Feel the love!

Take it away, Taeyang-shi!

Goodbye

From the UoA computer suite:

If you are thinking that I am leaving this blog to rot, you are one crazy hag. Just a title to scare some. Then again, it seems like a very appropriate title for what I am about to say.

If some of you might be aware, I'd probably be moaning about bad interviews. Well, it is true. Nervousness got to my head I'm afraid. The once control and preparation I had was all gone in front of what was to be my Biology lecturer, who looked friendly yet sometimes a bit uninterested. You would know that I really have doubts on a lot of things. That glimpse of his disinterest just caught my attention, probably affecting how I was to perform. You can't help it. When you are blabbing tons of stuff out which is not crap but full of logical points, you would surely feel weird when the interviewer does not give any reply or makes a rather "no-effect" face. I guess it is safe to say that my lecturer has darn good acting skills to intimidate the ones he interviews, hah? Maybe XD.

Well, of course, the usual messing up with words and having your tongue tied continued to wreak havoc onto my interview replies. It kind of sucks to know that after all those interviews, I still get the same feeling every time - "Saying something then regretting that I said it too soon, making me mess up my points." Yeah, I think it was evident a few times, which could have made him have the thought that I prepared the entire thing which was supposedly unprepared.

Anyhow, what's done is done. After one day of complaining, I think it's safe to say that I have expressed every discontent I had towards my interview and come back to the highway again. Not confident as after I did my PQA. This was a totally different feeling. It was a normal interview which I personally screwed up. All I have to blame is myself, and then move on with life. You know, even if I don't get this, there's always an alternative route to it.

I should know. I've been through it. If you want to talk in the point of university acceptances, I bet no one other than perhaps JR (He applies too many, his fault :P) would understand how rejection has become a very normal process in my life. In April, almost all but one rejected me. In June, more came. Furthermore, I get official rejection letters from places like Harvard. Hey! I GOT A HARVARD LETTER, AIN'T THAT COOL?

Maybe not. But the point is, even if a girl supposedly dumps you, you think you won't have another girl who is equally as attractive whether outside or in that doesn't want you. Think about it. With all your heart, you can do everything *ripped of With All Your Heart by plusOne*. Even if an earthquake strikes Vanuatu, it didn't strike Fiji.... well in geological terms, yet. But anyhow, life is just like that. Whenever you fail, you mourn and cry over spilt milk. Sour grapes. After that, you naturally find it the norm. Like recently in Psychology, I learned that the change in happiness is short-lived. Even if you win the lottery, wouldn't you be happier for what, 2 years? After that, you tend to be as happy as before.

Same goes for sadness. Mourn about it, smash yourself for it. What you are doing is wasting your ATP that your body so dearly needs. Think over it and correct yourself. Improve yourself. If life were simply just about winning, who is going to lose? Someone is bound to. It might seem dark at a point. But hey, find another way towards the light. Perhaps, because of rejection, you can find something better in your life! Certainly what I got. Why not try it?



Remember, sometimes goodbye IS a second chance! :)