If you are thinking that I am leaving this blog to rot, you are one crazy hag. Just a title to scare some. Then again, it seems like a very appropriate title for what I am about to say.
If some of you might be aware, I'd probably be moaning about bad interviews. Well, it is true. Nervousness got to my head I'm afraid. The once control and preparation I had was all gone in front of what was to be my Biology lecturer, who looked friendly yet sometimes a bit uninterested. You would know that I really have doubts on a lot of things. That glimpse of his disinterest just caught my attention, probably affecting how I was to perform. You can't help it. When you are blabbing tons of stuff out which is not crap but full of logical points, you would surely feel weird when the interviewer does not give any reply or makes a rather "no-effect" face. I guess it is safe to say that my lecturer has darn good acting skills to intimidate the ones he interviews, hah? Maybe XD.
Well, of course, the usual messing up with words and having your tongue tied continued to wreak havoc onto my interview replies. It kind of sucks to know that after all those interviews, I still get the same feeling every time - "Saying something then regretting that I said it too soon, making me mess up my points." Yeah, I think it was evident a few times, which could have made him have the thought that I prepared the entire thing which was supposedly unprepared.
Anyhow, what's done is done. After one day of complaining, I think it's safe to say that I have expressed every discontent I had towards my interview and come back to the highway again. Not confident as after I did my PQA. This was a totally different feeling. It was a normal interview which I personally screwed up. All I have to blame is myself, and then move on with life. You know, even if I don't get this, there's always an alternative route to it.
I should know. I've been through it. If you want to talk in the point of university acceptances, I bet no one other than perhaps JR (He applies too many, his fault :P) would understand how rejection has become a very normal process in my life. In April, almost all but one rejected me. In June, more came. Furthermore, I get official rejection letters from places like Harvard. Hey! I GOT A HARVARD LETTER, AIN'T THAT COOL?
Maybe not. But the point is, even if a girl supposedly dumps you, you think you won't have another girl who is equally as attractive whether outside or in that doesn't want you. Think about it. With all your heart, you can do everything *ripped of With All Your Heart by plusOne*. Even if an earthquake strikes Vanuatu, it didn't strike Fiji.... well in geological terms, yet. But anyhow, life is just like that. Whenever you fail, you mourn and cry over spilt milk. Sour grapes. After that, you naturally find it the norm. Like recently in Psychology, I learned that the change in happiness is short-lived. Even if you win the lottery, wouldn't you be happier for what, 2 years? After that, you tend to be as happy as before.
Same goes for sadness. Mourn about it, smash yourself for it. What you are doing is wasting your ATP that your body so dearly needs. Think over it and correct yourself. Improve yourself. If life were simply just about winning, who is going to lose? Someone is bound to. It might seem dark at a point. But hey, find another way towards the light. Perhaps, because of rejection, you can find something better in your life! Certainly what I got. Why not try it?
Remember, sometimes goodbye IS a second chance! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment