The Agony

It's been two days since I wake up to a nightmare. No, it was not from a nightmare, but to. Weird isn't it? Whatever it is, it was one heck of two days. Let me just show you how painful it is. For instance, this morning. I woke up expecting nothing. I didn't really know it would come so fast. I thought April 2nd.... but, IT HAD TO COME TODAY.

Dear Jia Yong,

Thank you for your interest in Johns Hopkins. Your official decision notification has been mailed to you today; you should receive it shortly. In the interest of letting candidates know their decisions as soon as they become available, the Admissions Committee has decided to initially release this information by e-mail.

I am very sorry to inform you that we are not able to offer you a place in this year's class. Every year Johns Hopkins receives a large number of applications from highly qualified students. The Admissions Committee gives careful consideration to every admission request, and this decision was reached only after a thorough review of your application.

I understand that this may come as a disappointment, but I hope that it is tempered by good news from other schools to which you have applied.

Thank you again for your interest in Johns Hopkins and please accept my best wishes for a successful college experience.

Sincerely,

John Latting
Dean of Undergraduate Admissions

Holy crap =_=. Yeah, got to thank Kai Sheng for informing me on MSN first. Gosh, the forum said April the 2nd! Darn.... Well, at least I knew it was impossible. Encouraging letter? NOT! I hope the third paragraph comes true in the form of Princeton. But judging from the reality that is I was rejected by almost everyone already *except 2 impossibles and 2 hopefuls*, I think not. I guess that sums up my days hah? I am in dire need of luck...... NOW.

Two days ago, I woke up because of an SMS, MMS *it was a voice message since my lousy phone doesn't even enable recordings >.>* and a phone call, all from Kai Sheng, informing me of his own rejection from Berkeley as well. And guess what? I just had to call my mum up for the tense moment. Opening the websites from my email and going through tedious processes of opening two emails just for a PIN and a password, it became clear the outcome. As I opened up, something similar to the letter on top came up on both sites. Maybe Duke was more encouraging and lengthy. After all, it was from a Duke. No matter. For me, it didn't make a difference. I just closed it upon reading the first two paragraphs in the colossal message from Duke. The outcome itself outweighed what was written there. Mere words can't dash away my feelings now. That ever so hopeful optimism I possessed disappeared in the two days.

Although the rejections, it wasn't really a big deal. Well... it is a big deal. But to me, I had expected it right from the start. Right when I first applied. My SAT result wasn't 2400. My SAT2 had a flaw in my Biology. My curricular activities... questionable. My essays, well, luck. Which brings down to this word, luck. You know, I seriously wonder if good luck would ever come to me. People say your 18th year on Earth is always an unlucky one, and the process repeats for years which are 4380 days apart. Well, if I hadn't jumped Year 4, perhaps this would have been delayed for a year and I would have a better chance.

However, everything happens for a reason. Can't help but think back all the amazing things that had happened to me. Even if it was little, it was well worth it and certainly been a jolly ride. I just hope that I have enough in me to withstand the next 4 days...... towards one April Fools' Day, which is certainly not a day to fool around about. It is judgement day, and what an important day it is in the tale of my life! Hope shall be restored... I hope. Till then, I shall keep my wishes intact. 4 more universities to go! Don't give up! Don't back down! The finish line is just ahead! Till then, mates...

Oh and two more things. First,

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And next, something I wish to share while I'm in this world of despair..... Heard of Haru Haru right? It is by far, one of my most favorite songs in this whole wide world of music. Well, try a Big Bang orchestra! Well, not exactly. Orchestra for background music? WHOA AWESOMENESS! Hopefully this shall steer me towards that world of hope again. Here, I present to you, HARU HARU ORCHESTRA VERSION!





Oooooooooahhhhhh!!!!!! Total pwnage of a music. Nice suits, as always from BB. GD has weird hair..... I love the chest pumps. Ahhh! How sexy! LOL. Love the bridge as well. The remix and change of tones were seriously the bomb!

Ok, I sound like a fangirl now. No matter. After all, they seriously are one heck of a group. Too good for any other Korean groups in my opinion. Haha, I guess this really is my bringer of light in this total darkness hah? Speaking of total darkness, Earth Hour? THAT'S TODAY! Oh god, I shall be closing my computer during that hour as well. Haha. Perhaps my good deed shall make my Karma better? I think not. Well, I guess it's good to do more good. Whatever I get doesn't matter.

Hope I get what I want on April the 1st. Really hope so. Wishing, praying, hoping. Optimism come to me! Ahhh!! I just can't bear the worst case scenario!!! Ahh!!!!!!!!!!

*Message from the panic mind* =S